Koan of the Week: One Hand Clapping

PG&E gave us a break for the day, so I thought it was time to teach Erika another Zen lesson - about the sound of one hand clapping. One hand (versus two) doing anything has suddenly become very relevant for Erika, as one hand is generally occupied with holding the baby, which leaves only one hand for everything else.

Here are Erika's observations on things that are Easy or Hard with one hand:

Easy: reading e-mail
Hard: answering e-mail

Easy: eating crackers, ravioli, or dried apricots
Hard: buttering toast, eating yogurt out of the plastic container, or actually just eating most food.

Easy: drinking water out of the tap
Hard: drinking anything that needs to be refrigerated. It actually becomes a 12-step process: Step one, open fridge. Step 2, remove carton. Step 3, close fridge. Step 4, open cupboard. Step 5, remove glass. Step 6, open container. Step 7, pour drink. Step 8, close container. Step 9, open fridge. Step 10, put container back in fridge. Step 11, close fridge. Step 12, drink.

And, last but not least:

Easy: pet the cat
Hard: wash hands with soap (this is REALLY hard with one hand)

Well, practice makes perfect.

In other news, having finished digging up every square inch of the alley next to our house, PG&E has started digging holes IN THE SAME PLACE they dug holes last month! Yes folks, holes upon holes. Don't they have ANYTHING better to do? Our only consolation is that today, when we arrived home from Peter's 1-month check-up (via lunch at Tartine), the no parking signs were gone. Dare we hope that they will finally leave us in peace?

To leave you on a positive note, here are pictures of Peter at one day and one month. Not too terribly different, but he is 3 lbs heavier!

Practicing Non-Attachment

As a cat, I've got the Zen thing pretty much down. I find a sunbeam to sleep in and when that sunbeam disappears an hour later, I don't get bummed out because my sunbeam is gone. I just find another sunbeam. Non-attachment.

Erika seems to have trouble with the concept of non-attachment, but thanks to our power company, Pacific Gas & Electric, aka PG&E, she is getting better at it. For those of you following along, PG&E started digging up our street on April 7. By "our street" I actually mean the two streets that our house is on the corner of. More specifically, I mean the areas immediately under our bedroom, living room, and nursery windows. And by digging, I mean a variety of extraordinarily noisy pieces of equipment designed to break up cement, concrete, asphalt, and other very hard substances. The project was supposed to be complete on May 7, according to the "no parking 7am to 4pm" signs that blanket our neighborhood (another unpleasant side effect of this project - no parking for several blocks around our house). It is now...May 13. They are out there now, under the bedroom window, using the backhoe. At least the backhoe makes a steady rumble instead of jarring loud noises every few seconds.

But back to non-attachment. Sleep was the first thing to go - expected with a new baby - but we at least thought we'd be able to nap during the afternoon. Luckily Peter and I can nap through jack hammering that is so loud that Erika and Martin can't hold a conversation standing 2 feet away from each other. So, Erika let go of her attachment to sleep, and peace and quiet. Mostly. And Martin let go of his attachment to finding a close parking spot. Mmmmmmmm.....deeeeep breaths.

On May 9 or so, two days after their posted completion date, Erika was able to let go of her expectation that this work is ever going to be complete. Doing well. Then yesterday, Erika tried to do laundry (often a daily occurrence, especially when we've been using the diapers that leak). After letting the drier cycle through 3 or 4 times with no discernible effect on the dampness of its contents, Erika realized that the drier was actually not working. She decorated the house with damp swaddling blankets, onesies, and other assorted baby paraphernalia, and notified Martin of the problem. A few hours later, she attempted to take a nice hot shower (often the highlight of her day). I say attempted because the water, despite her best efforts, never really got beyond "tepid". A quick phone call to Martin combined with some trouble shooting revealed the problem - no gas. Erika took a deeeeep breath and reviewed her attachment to gas, which by default includes her attachment to clean laundry, hot showers, cooking food... I'm going to wait another month or two to introduce her to any more Zen principles - she clearly needs more time to master this one.

In the end, after TWO visits from friendly PG&E folks, one of which interrupted Peter's dinner twice and the other which interrupted OUR dinner with dear friend Sean who was visiting from Portland, the problem appears to be solved. That is, they hooked the gas back up. Twice because when they hooked our neighbor's gas back up, they accidentally disconnected ours again. sigh.

This morning Erika started her morning with the usual scowl out the window to the PG&E crew, silently wishing terrible, horrible plagues upon them and their children. One of the crew looked up to the window, smiled, and waved. Erika waved back and retreated, then came and found me in my first sunbeam of the day.

sigh.

Home

Erika and Martin are home! And they brought something with them...they spend an awful lot of time cooing and fussing over him, but they spend a lot more time in bed, on the couch, in the rocker, and in other places where I can curl up with them and get petted, so I've decided the little newcomer is ok by me. Except when he cries, which is pretty rare. So, my life hasn't changed much but theirs sure has. Martin is plotting ways to become a full-time House Husband, while Erika is mostly just trying to absorb her new role as mama and figure a few things out like how to breast feed, and how to give the little guy a bath. We are all trying to adhere to the advice we have gotten from almost every parent we know - sleep when the baby sleeps. Unfortunately for our little family, it's "sleep when the PG&E crew sleeps". We got a brief respite from the jackhammers and cement cutters today, but are dreading this next and hopefully final week of construction. Surprisingly, the parents are coping well with the lack of sleep. All those years of staying awake for a week straight at Burning Man are really paying off!

Change of Plans

Well, so much for Erika's relaxing or extraordinarily productive maternity leave - Baby has other plans. Or, rather, UCSF has other plans for Baby. Just hours after my last blog post, Erika had an appointment with her midwife which prompted a non-stop chain of events, and many MANY hours in the hospital, all of which will culminate in a Cesarean birth on Monday morning. Yes, Erika will now have one thing in common with Christina Aguilera - a planned "C-section". Long story short, the kid is breech and absolutely refuses to move (and yes, we've tried almost EVERYTHING to coerce him into turning). The Taurus nature is already showing up. That in combination with his rather larger than average size (thanks to Martin, former 10-lb baby, for those genes, or maybe thanks to Tartine for providing Erika with way too many better than average desserts) has scared UCSF off of even attempting a vaginal breech delivery. There are several other factors, but after a LOT of tears, debates, and long conversations with midwives, obstetricians, anesthesiologists, ultrasound technicians, doulas, acupuncturists, and lovely caring nurses, Erika and Martin have decided that a Monday morning Cesarean birth is the thing to do.

We are spending our last day as a family of 2 people/1 cat baking bread and cookies for those wonderful nurses, getting the house in tip-top shape, enjoying the sunny but freezing San Francisco weather, and EATING (yes, there was one stop at Tartine). Stay tuned, and we will see you on the other side...

The Feline Art of Relaxation

So it is Day 4 of Erika's Maternity Leave and she is having a hard time just settling down and relaxing. Instead she has utilized this new burst of energy to make a list of every errand and fun thing that she has been wanting to do but been putting off for the past oh 5 years or so, and she is working her way down the list:

1) Go to North Beach and get Princess Cake at Victoria Pastry. CHECK
2) Research and figure out where her life savings in 401Ks actually ended up after changing jobs 7 times in the last 5 years. CHECK
3) Take the lovely Czech heirloom china that we received as a wedding gift out of the box that it was mailed in and put it into the secretary where we can all admire it. CHECK
4) Attempt to make sourdough starter from scratch. IN PROGRESS
5) Help Pawlene update her blog a little more frequently... IN PROGRESS

In the mean time, I've been mostly napping and enjoying the spring sunshine. Erika could learn a lot from me if she would just pay attention. My daily list looks like this:

1) Nap.
2) Eat.
3) Nap.
4) Play with mouse, 45 seconds.
5) Nap.

Actually, I imagine this is pretty much what the baby's schedule will look like as well, only with more eating since he will be growing at a rapid pace while I am just trying to uh maintain my current weight. Ahem. So maybe it's ok that Erika is indulging her inner project manager for now, because the time for that will soon be over. Besides, at the rate she is going she'll be done with the 5-year list by the end of next week.

Sucker Weather

This past weekend we had the kind of weather that makes most regular people think about summer. It got up to 86 degrees in our little neighborhood in San Francisco, and Dolores Park was so packed, you could barely see the grass. Erika wore sundresses and flip flops that were purchased for warmer climes and Martin bought a BBQ. I had to search out a cool spot in the house - the entry way stairs instead of one of my normal sunny nooks.

But the Real San Franciscans knew what this weather was all about. It was Sucker Weather. And not as in lollipops. This was the kind of weather that every once in a while makes a brief appearance, just to prove that The City is capable of it. But we know better. While the tourists and the new SF residents think that this is a preview of summer, we don't get suckered in to believing. Overheard conversations at the unseasonably warm Farmer's Market (strawberries! snap peas! BASIL even!) all went like this: "Beautiful weather, isn't it? Yeah, too bad it won't last." "Isn't this weather great? Yeah, unbelievable. It's supposed to be freezing again on Monday."

For those of you who have never spent a summer in San Francisco, it is very, very hard to believe that this beautiful city gets so brutally cold for most of June, July, and August. I'm talking 43 degrees Fahrenheit. While everyone in every other part of the Northern Hemisphere (and most of the Bay Area) is sipping lemonade in shorts or wiping the sweat from their brows as they admire their giant home-grown tomatoes, San Franciscans are huddled over the BBQ in wool sweaters, or chuckling at the tourists who are easily identified by their shocked looks and "I heart San Francico" fleece sweatshirts that they hastily purchased at Fisherman's Wharf upon their first trip outside their hotel rooms. But it was awfully nice while it lasted. And it was only a little depressing to watch the fog roll in on Sunday evening as Martin BBQed an amazing assortment of Ahi tuna, sausage, and chicken.

In other news, the power company is digging up our street and the street above ours, which means the parking situation is even more dire than usual. And, worst of all the background noise for Erika's first relaxing day of maternity leave was jackhammers and saws so big and powerful that they can cut concrete. Not pleasant. It is supposed to last for a month, but Martin found this sign at the top of our street. It does not bode well. At least they finish by 3pm or so each day, so Erika and I have the late afternoon to sip Kombucha (probiotics!), attempt to make sourdough starter from scratch, nap, and update the blog in peace...

Countdown

Erika's belly is attracting more attention than mine these days. She is compiling a list of true stories/reasons you know that it's time to have the baby.

With regrets to our very wonderful and informative childbirth class teacher, Tracy, (don't worry - we know when we are REALLY supposed to go to the hospital)...Erika presents the top 5 reasons for "You Know You Are Ready to Have a Baby When..."

1. Photos of you now are best viewed in "Landscape" rather than "Portrait".
   
2. People at work keep wandering by your desk and reacting in surprise: "You're STILL here???"
   
3. You order the "egg sugar puffs" dish (serves 5) at your new favorite Dim Sum restaurant and proceed to eat the entire plate by yourself, without pausing.
   
4. You complete #3 and THEN you polish off half an order of steamed spinach and shrimp dumplings.
   
5. People no longer react to an unexpected profile view of your belly with surprise, but with FEAR, and get out of the way quick!
   

But seriously, all is going very well, baby is head down and In Position and as of Tuesday 4/8, Erika has permission from the mid-wife to go ahead and deliver a healthy, full-term baby boy. She isn't due until April 30, but apparently the next 3 weeks are just gravy - time for the kid to put some meat on his bones before making the grand entrance. We get the feeling he is going to LOVE dim sum...and anything from Tartine. Although the Cottage Bakery at the Liberty Cafe has certainly been giving Tartine's bread pudding a run for their money lately...the secret to both seems to be starting with brioche instead of week-old Wonder Bread. Who woulda thunk? More experimentation is clearly necessary...

Erika has one more week of work, and then plans to stay home full time to pet and adore me, plus get some rest before the baby arrives. Her Big Project is all wrapped up, except for the final presentation in New York, which she will sadly not be able to attend, due to her Condition. Martin too is getting to a place in his work where he will soon be able to feel comfortable taking a couple of weeks off to get used to our new lifestyle.

In other news, we are all getting over terrible colds (even I have been sneezing cute little cat sneezes!) and looking forward to a low-key weekend. Martin and Erika spent Monday and Tuesday night in Woodacre in Marin County to test out the commute. The place was lovely, the commute was Long. The search for our new home town continues.

We are still getting out and about, enjoying the company of friends and some of the cultural and culinary attractions that San Francisco has to offer. Last Friday we managed to slip into Delfina for an early dinner that included the best pasta dish (pork sugo tagliatelle) Erika has ever eaten outside of Italy. It's getting harder and harder to find reasons to leave our neighborhood, especially for dinner. This Friday we are hoping to fit in TWO art openings in the neighborhood before our monthly poker night - one for Jason, a photographer friend and the other for Bluespace, a stepchild non-profit of Bi-Rite Market, who is a soon-to-be partner of Nextcourse, the non-profit whose board Erika recently joined. Didja follow that? ;-)

I'm planning to stay home and finish covering the purple sofa with cat hair. It's a big sofa!