Cats on a Plane

So, I've been doing some research about traveling via plane and immediately discovered that not all airlines are created equal. In fact, their "pet travel" policies vary wildly. (United lumps their pet policy with children in the “Children, Pets, & Assistance” category.)

Some have the gall to impose weight limits! 20 lbs for in-cabin flying seems to be about average, but AirTran is just ridiculous: "The total combined weight of the animal and carrier cannot exceed 15 pounds."

I'm definitely not setting foot on Continental, who blatantly states:
"No oxygen will be administered to a pet in the event of an emergency."
They also discriminate:
"Dogs and cats cannot travel together in the same container."

Most require a leak-proof kennel that is lined with absorbent material, but my favorite phrasing of this is on the Virgin American site (those Brits, so polite): "The kennel must have proper ventilation, a floor designed to absorb and retain solids or liquids, proper fabrication to prevent the escape of the pet(s) and prevent any part of the pet(s) from protruding, and plenty of room for the pet(s) to move freely."

Alaska Airlines wins the prize for Most Specific Arbitrary Rules:
"Pets allowed in the passenger cabin are dogs, cats, rabbits, household birds, and tropical fish. The pet must stay in its container (including head and tail) at all times while onboard...Animals with offensive odors or those that create a noise disturbance must travel in the climate-controlled baggage compartment."
What about people who haven't showered? Can we put THEM in the baggage compartment too?

Delta gets it for Most Liberal Arbitrary Rules:
"Pets permitted in the cabin include dogs, cats, birds, ferrets, rabbits, hamsters and guinea pigs. Monkeys, pot-bellied pigs, reptiles, frogs, mice, rats, sugar gliders, and spiders are not permitted."
Their cargo policy is even more liberal:
"Reptiles, other than snakes, need to be placed in a container constructed of wood, plastic or corrugated material. For flight purposes, animals in this category include: Caiman, Chameleons, Frogs, Geckos, Iguanas, Lizards, Newts, Salamanders, Toads." All you need is a couple of witches and a good boiling cauldron...

Delta gets another prize for Best Euphemism:
"Pug or snub-nosed dogs and cats are not hot-weather animals and therefore do not thrive in warm temperatures."

And finally, I am awarding Jet Blue the Grand Prize in pet policies (read all the way to the end):
"We welcome emotional support animals used for emotional well being in the cabin at no charge. We will accept free of charge one emotional support animal. If a customer has more than one emotional support animal, we will try to accommodate the additional animal. However, you may have to purchase a second seat so that the animals can be accommodated in accordance with FAA safety regulations or wait until a seat on a later flight if the animals cannot be accommodated together at a single seat.

Certain unusual emotional support animals (i.e. snakes, other reptiles, ferrets, rodents and spiders) pose unavoidable safety and/or public health concerns and will not be allowed to fly with us.

JetBlue does not accept pet remains in the cabin of the aircraft or as cargo."

In the Face of Adversity

Real New Yorkers have perfected blasé. Sure, there are the occasional outbursts and screaming matches, but they blow over quickly, generally with no hard feelings on either side. It's just a form of being direct and expressing real feelings without sugar coating anything. When things get really rough, New Yorkers bury their noses in their Post, Daily News, NY Times, or Wall Street Journal, and ignore whatever crisis is happening right next to them until it passes, or they reach their destination.

For instance, a tornado struck New York City on Wednesday during the morning commute. Personally, I love the NYT headline: "Tornado Hits Brooklyn; Subway Back in Service". It perfectly exemplifies the New York attitude in the face of adversity. "A tornado? Hmmm. Is my train going to be on time?" As if a tornado was not enough adversity, it also dropped 3 inches of rain in one hour, which naturally caused some flooding. A lot of flooding, actually. Our basement flooded and we didn't have hot water until Thursday evening. Which was fine, because in addition to the tornado and the flooding, it was one of the hottest days of the summer on Wednesday. Hot AND humid. For you Californians, this means that within 5 minutes of getting out of the shower and drying off, you are literally dripping with sweat. If you exert yourself AT ALL (climbing stairs, for instance), the sweat pools and soaks through your clothing. Shower and repeat. Forget about drying your hair.

The flooding also caused the subways and PATH trains to either shut down completely or be delayed by 20-30 minutes. This may not seem like a big deal, but picture this scene:

The usual "I have to be at work by 9:00am" crew files down into the PATH station at 8:30 to wait for their train, which will come within 5 minutes. The train is usually moderately crowded, but only a few people will have to stand. No train comes, and the next crew arrives at 8:35. And the next group arrives at 8:40. Still no train. The platform is getting a little crowded. By 9:00am, when the train finally pulls into the station, the platform and train are packed with approximately 5 times as many commuters as on a normal day, and it's about 105 degrees on the platform. There are a few mumbles and sighs, but most people just keep reading their papers and wedge themselves into the cars. Unbelievable.

I am facing my own adversity this week, and I am not quite as graceful about it. Erika has put me on a low-carb diet and in protest, I refuse to eat more than three bites of the expensive natural wet cat food that she spoons lovingly into my bowl each morning. All night, each night, for the past three nights, I have asked her every hour or so to just put the good dry stuff back in my bowl. I do this by meowing loudly next to her ear, licking her where she is especially ticklish (under her arms), and occasionally resorting to gently inserting a claw or two into the most tender parts of her arm flesh. So far, she just swats me away, but I'm going to keep trying.