Guest Post from Erika: Following My Intuition

I just returned from my annual retreat with a new program for 2009 due to an "Esalen Epiphany". You see, spring, with all of the "newness" in the air (new leaves! new buds! baby animals!), is my favorite time to turn over a new leaf in my life. My new year starts on April 1. For ten years, I have been taking some time around April 1 to take a look at what I have accomplished over the past year and set my intention for the new year. I make goals, strategies, objectives! I check in each quarter and measure my progress! Do you see now why I was a professional project manager for so long? :-)

This year is going to be different. After a wonderful, relaxing, and very centering workshop with the divine Mr. David Schiffman at Esalen, culminating in a big "aha" moment watching the mama otters play with their babies in the ocean as I soaked in the famous Esalen baths, I realized that what my life and my family need more than anything right now is just for me to be there. To show up, authentically. The lists and goals and objectives are all a distraction.

Pawlene has this down. Every day she pursues exactly what makes her happy in the moment. A few nibbles. A nap in a sunbeam. 15 minutes of steady licking on my arm until I physically remove her to another room. Whatever she feels like doing.

Now, as a mother, and a Productive Member of Society, I have a few more responsibilities than my cat. I can't just nap for 23 hours of the day. But there is a lot more that I could be doing, other than worrying and making lists and checking them off. Really, is my son going to be happier if I get the laundry done right now, or if I delay it by 20 minutes and sit on the floor to play patty cake with him? If I listen to my intuition, it is not going to scream LAUNDRY. It's going to remind me that my time with this little toddler is oh so brief. Who cares if he has to wear those funny 80s-style acid wash jeans to the park because mommy hasn't washed the cool Wranglers since last week? Not him, that's for sure.

Sometimes trusting my intuition is not so easy. Today it was whispering: "Eat chocolate chip cookies." It says that rather a lot these days. But if I take a break from my daily routine, and spend a few minutes dancing or writing or walking outside where I can get in touch with something deeper, more lasting, bigger than me...it all becomes clear. And easy. Well easier anyway. Side note: Have any of you ever tried cleaning hummus out of an 11-month-old's EYELASHES? Sheesh. Don't ask.