The skunks came back last night. Right in the middle of a discussion Martin and I were having about our grocery budget. Perfect timing. Only two again, and cuter than ever. Didn't see mama, but she might have been staying out of sight like a wise old mother skunk. Anyway, they reminded me that I haven't posted since the last time they visited.
I have more of the same to report, I am afraid. Mixed emotions about living in a new place. Peter has adjusted beautifully to pre-school and even requests to go back on his "off" days. One of the caregivers there found a cure for his runny nose. Homeopathic medicine. So much for UCSF. What a difference for him to be able to breathe clearly and me not having to carry Kleenex everywhere we go! It still runs occasionally, but Wow.
And I continue to meet new people, but nobody that I really Click with. The hardest part about leaving San Francisco was leaving my network of mommy friends and Peter's little buddies. I dread trying to replicate such a special situation. Better writers than I have compared looking for play dates to dating and the similarities are now painfully obvious to me. I met one mom who seemed Really Great, gave her my number, but...she never called. When I ran into her again (small town), it was a bit awkward and she made some lame excuse for not getting in touch. Then there is another mom whose husband (ok this is where it is different from dating) keeps suggesting that she and I go out for a glass of wine. I even got brave and made a sort of overture, letting her know that I would love to get together, but even though she is warm and always friendly (we see each other often), she hasn't asked me out. I'm trying not to let my ego get bruised here.
One of my new year's resolutions is to be brave and ask other moms out, but that's hard! Before I was married, I asked a guy out on a date exactly once in my life, when I was 20 years old, and while it went fairly well (he said yes), it took all my nerve and I never repeated it. And my ego is in a very fragile state right now.
Today I met a fantastic woman up at the river. I knew it from the moment I saw her and her little girl (who was born, coincidentally, 4 days before Peter, and had a VERY similar temperament). Best friends at first sight. We spent a lovely few hours together, chatting and herding our children. We had similar parenting styles, similar values, similar tastes in how to spend a summer vacation. But she is just here on vacation. She lives in Petaluma, of all places. (Petaluma was our SECOND choice after Nevada City.) It almost reduced me to tears on my way home. To finally meet someone that I knew I could be great friends with, just to have the possibility ripped away within minutes of meeting. Just not meant to be.
One of our best friends from San Francisco visited us this past weekend, and her visit brought into sharp focus both the reasons why we are here and what we are missing back in the city. The kids were ecstatic to see each other. We had a wonderful time just hanging out in the warm weather, walking around downtown and eating ice cream, dancing outside the bar where some live music was spilling out onto the sidewalk, and of course, splashing in the river and in the kiddie pool. She dreaded going back to 58-degree San Francisco on Monday morning. But she was going back to a network of warm, supportive, intelligent, fun women and their children who all get along even as they challenge each other. To day after day of the time passing quickly because the kids are playing and the moms are chatting, unlike the dog day afternoons we have been experiencing when I just want to take a nap and nothing will make Peter happy except taking all of the sugar out of the bag and spreading it all over the kitchen floor in the two minutes I spend by myself inthe bathroom.
Overall, I know we made the right choice. The lifestyle here cannot be beat. And it takes time for friendships to form. This is just a time of transition. At least I get to lean back against a spectacular, giant, white, granite boulder and gaze at sparkling turquoise water and pine trees while I feel sorry for myself. And I have plenty of time to mope during the 3 days a week that Peter is in pre-school, a luxury we could scarcely afford in San Francisco.
Luckily, in a few weeks, I will get to spend a whole week in the company of my favorite tribe -- my family. I am lucky enough to have a family that I really love spending time with. Unfortunately, since we are spread apart just as far as we can be (East Coast, West Coast, Midwest, the South, and the South of France) it happens much too rarely that we all get to be in the same place. I'm sure there will be bumps and bruises (both strong-willed and sensitive run in the family), but it will be a tonic for my soul to have us all together. And an adventure for our little family! This time, I'm going to be prepared for a bumpy flight, unlike our last trip to the Midwest.
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